I wasn’t sure how I was going to do this, or if I was even going to recap the year with a resolution post because I was unsure about bringing negativity in to mar the list of my goals for the year to come, but I am going to just mash it all together because I think it will have a more beneficial effect when I read back on these posts in the future.

I’m no longer pregnant. I had a miscarriage that started December 8. My midwife & I are of a mind that I didn’t have two losses this year, just one- a “missed” miscarriage. We are taking many things into account & since I don’t have much of a miscarriage history, it makes no sense to either of us unless we take into account that the first miscarriage did not complete. The facts that we DO know however are:
- I was indeed pregnant
- On December 9 there was no visible pregnancy by a scan
- My blood test showed a medium-ish amount of the pregnancy hormone, similar to what happens with a “missed” miscarriage
- We never heard a heartbeat after the wave of positive tests in mid to late October

We feel quite certain that the loss did complete itself this time as I have improved in health, my cravings have lessened, I’ve lost weight & water-weight. I feel better as well, tired & sort of flat now that Christmas is over, but overall better nevertheless. I’ve been taking Vitex to help with cycle regulation as well as other symptoms for many weeks now & I feel like it is just starting to work. It’s the type of herb that has to build up in the body before it begins to take effect.

I’m just- kind of processing, I guess. I know we will have another baby eventually, that’s not what I’ve been concerned with.

Because of all this, combined with the holidays I’ve become the world’s worst blogger. (Too bad my stats are showing me how untrue that statement really is. ) It’s been a long time since I’ve blog-hopped & I apologize, I will be catching up once I feel like I am in the right place again. I say that because I haven’t been online much, if it all these days & when I am I have been dividing my time between Livejournal, Myspace, & Ravelry which all can’t seem to hold my attention for longer than a few minutes for some reason. I don’t feel depressed. Just not into the internet right now.

The year overall, besides all my womanly weirdness, has been great. My only other complaint was the drought. I would have enjoyed having a much more bountiful harvest. At the end of September (or was it August?) we were -25″ in rainfall. We moved out of the old house to this one last January, which I am glad for. I do however, mourn the loss of high-speed internet out here in the boondocks!

In 2008:
- I hope to get back into sewing. I have a great machine that also embroiders so I want to get into doing that again. I’m also still planning on the felt foods. They look so fun & I already have a ton of red & green from the kids’ stockings.

- Start making holiday gifts EARLY, like mid summer!

- Not worry about making money & devote former work-time into time spent on better things: family, house, outdoors, time for myself..

- Knit/crochet more for myself.

- Paint the inside of the house (hopefully the outside, too).

- Make some paintings for the house.

- Look for new furnishings (I like antiques & going to the local flea markets, great stuff to be found!): a chest to function as an entertainment center, old-fashioned rocking chair, new desk chair & possibly a new bed (this would be brand new).

- Design & build E a play kitchen for her fourth birthday.

- Trade the Audi & Caravan in for an Odyssey & a motorcycle for K.

- Get a satellite internet service!

I may add to this.

Posted in crafts, pregnancy, resolutions, seasonal & written by Niki —